my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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