I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
