I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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