Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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