with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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