this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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