as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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