This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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