I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize