but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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