I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
