this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
