Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
