plz talk dirty to me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dignity is for republicans.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
