her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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