Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
