Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
