Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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