Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
