I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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