And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
