id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize