I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
