The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
