Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
