...so i touched it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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