I wanna passion pit in your ass
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
