Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
