There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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