I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
