My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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