erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
