Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
