I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
