Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize