I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
