i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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