Only a mothe r could love this liver
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
