And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
