im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
