Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
