Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
