you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You're earring is so big in my mouth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He felt like a one man threesome
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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