Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
