Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
