i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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