She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
