My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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