I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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