You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
