Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize