why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
