Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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