i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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