I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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